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I lost my love this morning. I looked under the bed, in the closet, between the couch cushions. Nothing. Last time I lost my love it was in the refrigerator. I accidentally threw it in there with some Swiss cheese after I made a ham sandwich. I hate it when I lose my love. It really ruins my whole day. I looked everywhere. I even asked the neighbors. But no one had seen my love. I wondered if their cat ate it. I should keep extra around for times like these. I guess I could have left it in the grocery cart in the parking lot last night. Maybe a bum has my love now. Maybe he’s trading it for beer on the sidewalk. Once I got my love stuck in the lint trap. I’m not sure how it happened, only that it happened somewhere between the reds and whites.
I finally heard its faint cries after two days. I called a repairman. His name was Alahondro. Alahondro had lost his love once. He put an ad in the paper. They listed it under Miscellaneous. I talked to the garbage man and the school crossing guard and our Neighborhood Watch group, but no one had seen or heard anything unusual in the area. I posted some flyers on mailboxes and trees. I withheld certain characteristics of my love. So if someone actually called claiming they had my love, I would know it really was mine. You have to be careful of scams, you know. I called the police, but my love has to be missing for a full 48 hours before they can make a case file. The officer informed me these things never turn out well and that my love had most likely expired. And even if they found it, would they be able to identify it? It doesn’t have an ID or dental records.
I walked the neighborhood calling for my love. I took my friend Harry. You should never walk alone after dark. I wanted to bring a flashlight to check under cars and in bushes. My love could be hiding, or worse, injured. I have three flashlights but none with batteries. So I just called out, “Love! Love!” I stopped and listened – just a dog. I left a picture of my love at the corner convenience store and the pizza parlor. I offered a reward but didn’t state the amount. I posted it on the cork announcement board next to the flyer that read “Room for Rent” and the homemade business card for a seamstress. Outside, a hipster with no shirt and pink pants said he had some love he could sell me. But it turns out he just spelled it wrong. When I got home, my neighbor asked if I could come by and help him install his new ceiling fan. I told him, “I’m not sure I can find love.” I bid on some love on eBay. Maybe I could replace it? It was being shipped from a different time zone though, so I didn’t know exactly where it had been. Would it gain or lose love in the trip? It could be unreliable. No messages yet.
I’m starting to think I will never get that love back.