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I don’t remember the score or the inning, how many runners were on or who was there. All I remember was it was my turn to bat. I confidently walked from the on-deck circle to home plate, dug my cleats in the dirt, swung the bat a few times and got set to hit whatever came my way.
That one little league game in junior high will haunt me forever.
The first pitch flew by. Ball. Just outside the strike zone. Second pitch, ball. Again, outside. Knowing pitchers try to change things up, one would assume the next pitch would be thrown on the inside. I waited. My opponent wound up, hurled it toward home plate and, AH! The sudden amount of pain in my soft anklebone caused me to shriek like a goat, and I fell to the ground. That ball left an immediate raised purple mark that disabled me to run for the remainder of the game.
I had begun working hard at baseball since I was 6 years old. But for the rest of that season I wrapped my ankle every game in fear of being hit. And even though my ankle was securely wrapped, that fear lingered each time I walked up to the plate. Instead of thinking that I needed to hit the ball to help my team, I was thinking about surviving my at-bat. Fear had disabled my purpose for playing baseball. I no longer thought about contributing to the team. I thought about myself and not getting hurt.
For years that fear crippled me in how I made decisions for myself and for others. Would my choice help me or hurt me? Would I appear weak or strong? That fear of weakness, powerlessness and failing to succeed haunted me.
The story of Elijah in 1 Kings 18-19 is fascinating because it’s a story of fear. To prove his God was the true God, Elijah challenged the prophets of Baal to a sacrifice contest. Both Elijah and prophets of Baal set up bull sacrifices for their gods to come down and set on fire. Elijah even covered his with several gallons of water to make it more interesting. After the prophets of Baal had tried to summon their gods without a response, Elijah summoned the true God, and his sacrifice was immediately burned up. Talk about awesome. Elijah called down fire from heaven. As a result, Baal’s prophets were fearful of Elijah, and Elijah pursued those prophets and killed them.
The even more intriguing part is King Ahab was at the scene of the sacrifices, and he told his wife, Jezebel, who hated and wanted to kill prophets of Israel like Elijah, what had happened. In response to this, Jezebel proclaimed, “May the gods strike me and even kill me if by this time tomorrow I have not killed you [Elijah] just as you killed them [prophets of Baal]” (1 Kings 19:2, NLT). You know what Elijah’s response was? Right after he had just challenged 450 prophets and called down fire? He ran – in fear – then hid and prayed to God to take his life.
What the heck? How did he become so fearful? This guy just called down fire from the God Most High and the next day ran scared because someone wanted to kill him.
But isn’t that like us? Just as my confidence was shattered in baseball and I began focusing on myself, Elijah’s confidence was shattered when Jezebel threatened him.
I think we forget about how powerful God is in any situation. God not only wants us to pray for small things but for big things that seem impossible. God wants to show His glory in the big things. We must have courage to pray big. Our fears are no match for our mighty Lord. God does answer us when we seek Him, and when fears jump into our lives, we must bring them to God and let Him burn them up.