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A mentor couple told us years ago that when your children grow up they don’t “need” you as parents anymore. We are the ones who want a relationship with them, and that takes some doing.
So for the past five summers our family has chosen to spend our summer vacation together. That’s right. I said we chose to spend our summer vacation together. All of us, myself, my husband, our two adult daughters, their husbands and their children (who are currently a 3½-year-old girl and 3-year-old boy) spend time together on a family vacation. That phrase, family vacation, reminds me of a John Candy movie that is full of weird family drama. And for some people, a family vacation sounds like absolute torture, but for me, I have loved every minute of our time together.
My husband and I go out of our way to make these vacations, dare I say, incredible! We have crazy good food, surroundings that are awesome and very comfortable, and of course, fun. Fun is what we aim for. Our family is mad competitive, and we raised our kids playing games, like nerdy card games. We have so much fun laughing and competing for the most points. We also intentionally give our children some much needed time alone as couples. Date nights go a long way with adult children who have kids.
I love my daughters, but I really like them. There is a profound difference to me. I like hanging out with them and spending time together. We share life and laugh. A lot. We older gals of our faith have an assignment to “train the young women to love their husbands and children” (Titus 2:4). I can’t tell you how much joy it brings me to watch my sweet daughters love their husbands and children.
I always learn something new about my adult children when we vacation together, like how they parent. They are very patient and awesome moms. Way better than I ever was. They are so loving with their little families.
And the men the Lord has brought into our family are such a blessing. I didn’t parent boys, so to have these wonderful men in our family is great. They come from awesome families, and they stroke my ego regarding cooking – because they eat a lot of it! No matter what I cook! Besides food, I have learned to lean into their interests. Who would have ever thought I’d be watching the NBA Finals or know who Stephen Curry is, or even care about those things?
Being parents of adults is different than raising children. It takes some serious effort on our part to seek out relationships with them, but honestly, it is worth every bit of it. It’s really worth it.