During this Exposure Trip, I had been praying that God would open my eyes to the things that I don’t see and that He would break my heart for what breaks His. This morning God really did.
As we were doing morning exercises with all the kids, I couldn’t help but notice a few little guys in the distance, away from everyone, trying to see and do the exercises. I asked the HFO coordinator (who has become a close friend) who those children were and why they weren’t participating with the rest of the children. She said they were the orphans who weren’t a part of this local camp. These kids were about 3 to 8 years old.
I decided I’d go and do the morning exercises with them. Although we only got to dance to one song, these kids had gotten so close to me. They kept asking me questions, and they all took turns giving me continuous hugs. Even though I had just met those kids, when I had to leave for a leader's meeting, they were devastated. It honestly broke my heart to walk away. Later that day I went to the beach and played with them there, and leaving them again brought me to tears.
Throughout the day I was feeling so useless, discouraged and frustrated. I felt that it wouldn't matter how many summers I would come and play with them if they didn’t have someone who they knew loved them every day and felt it. While I was sitting deep in my thoughts, a boy who I met earlier came up to me and started telling me about his life. He went on about how excited he was that he and his brother just got adopted by a family in Texas and how they would be joining them permanently at the end of the summer. I almost broke down at this point.
God has a funny way of showing you the worst in the world in order to reveal the beauty of hope in Him. At that point I realized that nothing I could ever do would be enough. I realized all I can do is plant a seed and God takes it from there. Knowing that the Lord will take care of these kiddos in ways I can’t even imagine brings me peace. I can’t wait to see what else the Lord teaches me here, and I’m excited to continue loving on these kids.
- Katherine B.