The Well Community Church

The Well Blog

Living According to the Promise

Posted July 2, 2012 Melissa Danisi

This week we heard that HE IS the PROMISE. Before Genesis 1:1 was ever written, God had you mind. Before Genesis 1:1 was ever written, He had the cross in mind. I know that you can’t truly understand John 3:16 until you understand Genesis 3:15. From Genesis to Revelation, the plan was always Jesus . . . Christ and Christ crucified.

God knew from the beginning that we would choose our own way, our own understanding, our own desires over His path, His law, and His plan.

And nothing has changed since Adam & Eve’s time.

I see the Promise in the Garden. But you know what else I see in Genesis 3? I see my life, my struggle, my sin in Genesis 3:16 . . .

To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. ?Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.

When my husband and I first got married, I thought it was going to be the fairy tale, romantic comedy, lovey dovey type marriage. Unfortunately, my husband had been living over a year in a different city far removed from church, community, and Jesus. Though he led me to the LORD, when we were finally married and living in the same town, he was far from the LORD.

He went to church because I wanted to. When church was over, he had no desire to talk about the message. During the week he’d come home to watch tv and never open his bible, never pray, not even want to talk about the things of God.

So in all of my efforts to lead our family, I decided to start reading my bible in front of him, so he would look to me as an example. I decided to leave sermons in the DVD player, scriptures on 3x5 cards around the house about how important it is to pray or study God’s word. I was going to lead by example and nag him or guilt-trip him to the House of the LORD!!

Friends, you can only imagine how this turned out, right? Not good. He told me “I know what you’re trying to do” and I acted aloof. I knew what I was trying to do too. And until I read Genesis 3:16, I didn’t realize I was walking in sin, according to the curse that came after the Promise, just as much as he was. My husband was being Adam: passive/apathetic and I was being Eve: usurping authority/desiring to rule over him.

The LORD was quick to rebuke me, and I confessed and repented. I stopped trying to lead, trying to nag, and it was one of the hardest years of my life. It was when I learned what it meant to be my husband’s helper, not leader, and when I learned to pray.

The good news is . . . God answers prayer! My husband now leads me, seeks after God, loves His word, serves in the church, and abides in Christ. However, none of this was because of my own effort. I had to realize my Eve-like behavior, repent, and walk in the Spirit.

I can’t even tell you how many women I meet with who share this exact same struggle and pain in their own marriages.

Husbands who won’t lead; husbands who don’t want to go to church; husbands who don’t delight in the LORD. And women who are trying everything to get them to love God.

And every single time I’m taken back to the garden. I’m reminded of the curse put on Eve . . . we will desire our husbands, and he shall rule over us.

Ladies, can I encourage you? Repent and be saved! If we look down deep enough we can all too often relate to Eve. Let us release our desire for control and surrender it to God. Let us stop nagging our husbands and begin praying for them instead. Let us stop trying to drag them out of our home TO church and instead BE the church IN our homes. . . serving our husbands, loving and respecting, and being evangelistic through our actions.

There is so much pain in marriages. Many of you who want to give up, walk out, and quit. We are believing the lie from the garden that Eve believed; our way is better than God’s way. We are walking according to the curse, not the promise. Let’s forsake our hopelessness for hope, trade our nagging for prayer, and our discouragement in our circumstance for delight in God. Let the Promised One empower you with His Holy Spirit to satisfy you and empower you to walk in a manner worth of the calling (Ephesians 4:2) to be his helper and not his enemy.

Let’s live according to the Promise in Genesis 3, not according to the curse.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)