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Relationship Help

Posted November 16, 2017 by Chris Schultz

Here are some resources to help you do relationships right.

Before You Are Married

Marriage in General

  • God, Marriage and Family by Andreas Kostenberger and David Jones
    A definitive book on the biblical doctrines of marriage and family
  • Love That Lasts by Gary and Betsy Ricucci
    A practical book that addresses the biblical purpose of marriage, roles of husbands and wives, communication and the necessity of grace
  • Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
    Gives a clear representation of how a biblical marriage can reflect Christ if the focus is holiness and not personal happiness
  • This Momentary Marriage by John Piper
    Based on a sermon series on marriage by Pastor Piper
  • The Mystery of Marriage by Mike Mason
    Provides an understanding of the wondrous dynamics of committed love; a Gold Medallion Award winner
  • The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller
    Challenges your thinking about popular modern misconceptions regarding marriage
  • Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggherics
    He needs respect; she needs love - for a lifetime
  • You and Me Forever by Francis and Lisa Chan
    Marriage is great, but it’s not forever, only until death do us part, then come eternal rewards or regrets depending upon on how we spend our lives
  • Marriage and the Mystery of the Gospel by Ray Ortlund
    Marriage is much more than a human institution; it paints a picture of our salvation in and through Jesus Christ

Biblical Roles of Husbands and Wives

  • Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by John Piper and Wayne Grudem
    A definitive collection of essays and articles by leading complementarian authors, teachers and pastors, describing what the Bible says about gender roles in culture, marriage, and the church
  • Each for the Other by Bryan Chapell
    An excellent explanation of what true biblical headship and submission look like in a marriage
  • What’s the Difference? by John Piper
    Examines the similarities and differences between men and women
  • Biblical Foundations for Manhood and Womanhood by Wayne Grudem
    Explains what it means to be equal as image bearers and yet designed by God to have different and distinctive roles
  • Rocking the Roles by Robert Lewis
    What the Bible says about your role and living harmoniously with each other

Books for Husbands

  • Sex, Romance and the Glory of God by C.J. Mahaney
    A quote from the book sums it up: “You must touch the heart and mind of your wife before you touch her body."
  • Disciplines of a Godly Man by Kent Hughes
    A good book addressing a disciplined life for a man, something many men struggle with
  • For Men Only by Jeff & Shaunti Feldhahn
    Reveals the eye-opening truths and simple acts that will radically improve your relationship with the woman you love by understanding what she wants, what makes her tick and how to make her happy

Books for Wives

  • Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
    Describes the virtues of a godly woman based on Titus 2
  • Biblical Womanhood in the Home edited by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
    A collection of essays by leading complementarian women leaders and authors about the danger of feminism; calls women to their true biblical identity as an image bearer of God
  • Disciplines of a Godly Wife by Barbara Hughes
    Provides practical ways for a godly wife to serve her family
  • For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn
    Reveals the eye-opening truths and simple acts that will radically improve your relationship with the man you love by understanding what he wants, what makes him tick and how to make him happy

Sin and Communication

  • When Sinners Say “I Do” by Dave Harvey
    Marriage is the union of two people who arrive at the altar toting some surprisingly large luggage; understanding sin's influence can make all the difference for a man and woman who are building a life together
  • How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong by Leslie Vernick
    Teaches how to pursue Christ and your spouse even in the midst of a difficult marriage
  • War of Words by Paul Tripp
    Describes the harmful effects of sinful communication, and speaks of how God can redeem our words to bring Him glory and enrich our relationships with others
  • Humility: True Greatness by C.J. Mahaney
    Addressing our sin of pride and how humility is true strength

Song of Solomon

Sexual Intimacy

  • A Celebration of Sex by Douglas Rosenau
    A very thorough look at the gift of sex for a married couple
  • Red Hot Monogamy by Bill and Pam Farrel
    Explores the beauty of godly sex, romance and intimacy
  • Sex and the Supremacy of Christ edited by John Piper and Justin Taylor
    A collection of essays written by some of the most prominent leaders in the church today describing the godly design and creation of sex
  • Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Lehman
    Secrets of intimacy in marriage
  • The Gift of Sex by Clifford and Joyce Penner
    A guide to sexual fulfillment
  • Intended for Pleasure by Ed Wheat
    A complete sex manual with basic facts, illustrations and frank discussions of all facets of human sexuality

Heart Change through the Gospel


Video Resources

  • The Song of Solomon Sermon Series by Brad Bell
    Brad walks through Attraction, Dating and Courtship, Marriage, Intimacy, Sexuality, Conflict and Deepening
  • The Peasant Princess Sermon Series by Marc Driscoll
    An 11-part series on the godly, poor young woman found in the Song of Solomon
  • What Did You Expect? by Paul Tripp
    A challenge to look at the mirror of God’s Word and examine the vertical relationship with the Lord rather than looking at the horizontal relationships with your spouse
  • Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller
    A profound portrait of marriage from the pages of Scriptures that neither idealizes nor rejects the institution of marriage, but points us back to the relationship between God and man
  • Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
    Gives a clear representation of how a biblical marriage can reflect Christ if the focus is holiness and not personal happiness
  • Art of Marriage by Family Life
    Every marriage is unique, expressed by colorful personalities of each spouse and textured by circumstances at play in their lives; lending them together to make marriage work is the design of this series
  • Song of Solomon Sermon Series by Tommy Nelson
    God has much to say about romantic love, and the careful study of Solomon’s Love Song provides insight of God’s design
  • Maximum Marriage by Tommy Nelson
    The Bible teaches that healthy marriage and families are based on the nature and character of God


  • Your Unique Design
    A personality assessment designed to give you insight into your God-given design and how that can improve your quality of life
  • Prepare & Enrich
    The leading relationship inventory and skill-building program built on a solid research foundation, and used nationally and internationally; it significantly improves a couple’s relationship
    The world’s most practical marriage assessment that gives you a personalized road map to making your marriage everything it was meant to be
    A pre-marriage and marriage enrichment inventory that help couples assess and appreciate their unique relationship while learning more about themselves


  • re|engage
    A marriage enrichment program where marriages in any condition can benefit, whether you are struggling to get along, your marriage is broken or you simply want to grow closer together as a couple
  • Focus on the Family
    A global Christian ministry dedicated to helping families thrive; provides help and resources for couples to build healthy marriages that reflect God’s design
  • Family Life
    Find biblical help for your marriage and family relationships
  • Fierce Marriage
    A blog site dedicated to helping couples process through marriage’s trials as well as celebrate its joys

Couple's Retreat Centers

  • Weekend to Remember
    A weekend to find encouragement hope, and practical tools to build and grow your relationship; topics include communication, oneness and love
  • Scott River Lodge
    Nestled in the beauty of Northern California, the Scott River Lodge is designed for couples to find rest for your bodies, peace of mind, and rejuvenation for your souls
  • Outback America
    Building, restoring and strengthening relationships, this is a weekend event full of outdoor activities, great music and the unique opportunity to invest time with your spouse
  • Hope Restored
    A Marriage Intensive Experience program to help address your needs around a variety of topics, including communication, infidelity, intimacy and sexual issues, financial strains, blended families, children and career conflicts.

31 Major Texts on Marriage

Godly Couples/Examples

  • Genesis 2 (Adam and Eve)
    God creates, ordains and sees marriage as good
  • Genesis 24 (Isaac and Rebekah)
    God’s standard for finding a mate (along with a dang good example!)
  • Genesis 29:9-30 (Jacob and Rachel)
    Jacob’s patience and perseverance towards “the one he loved”
  • Ruth 1-4 (Boaz and Ruth)
    The story of Ruth and the love of Boaz as her kinsman redeemer
  • Matthew 1:24-25 (Joseph and Mary)
    Joseph’s respect and patience concerning Mary’s character
  • Hosea 1:2-3:5 (Hosea and Gomer)
    Hosea’s love and commitment despite his wife’s adultery

Rules Governing Marriage

  • Deuteronomy 24:5
    The husband is to bring his wife happiness
  • Ephesians 5:21-33
    Roles / The “Mystery” of marriage defined (its purpose)
  • Colossians 3:18-19
  • 1 Peter 3:1-7

Wisdom Concerning Marriage

  • Proverbs 18:22
    Finding a wife is good
  • Proverbs 31:10-31
    Characteristics of a godly woman/wife
  • Genesis 24
    Characteristics of a godly man/pursuit of marriage
  • Matthew 22:30
    No marriage in heaven
  • 1 Corinthians 7
    The decision to marry or not
  • Hebrews 13:4
    The marriage bed is sacred

Marrying Outside the Faith

  • Ezra 10:10-11
    No foreign-faith marriages
  • 2 Corinthians 6:14
    Unequally yoked relationships


  • Malachi 2:16
    God hates divorce
  • Romans 7:1-3
    Laws on marriage/divorce
  • Matthew 5:31-32
  • Matthew 19:1-9
  • Mark 10:1-12
  • Matthew 5:27-30
  • Luke 16:18

Sweet Nuggets

  • Proverbs 5:18
    Rejoice in your wife
  • Proverbs 12:4
    The wife is the husband’s crown
  • Proverbs 19:14
    A prudent wife is from the Lord
  • Psalm 128:3
    A wife is fruitful to the home
  • Ecclesiastes 9:9
    Enjoy your wife, for she is your reward from the Lord


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